In the second bout of the Double (Be)Header, the visiting New Jersey Dirty Dames Hubcity Hellrazors (3-6 in 2007 interleague play) fell to the Gotham Girls’ Manhattan Mayhem (0-3 intraleague 2007) by a score of 111 to 20.
Halloween colors flushed the track as the Hellrazors took the track in their black dresses and the Mayhem followed in their orange penitentiary uniforms. The excitement rose as two very quick, popular, and evenly sized, jammers, Lil’ Miss Stuffit of the Mayhem and A-Bomb of the Hellrazors, took the line to start. A-Bomb outraced Stuffit, sprinted through the pack on the outside, picked up lead, and got a fast 4 points before being stopped by a re-engaging Mayhem pack. Eden Mydust, Mental Block, and pivot Fender SmackHerFaster of the Dirty Dames pack, which was down one skater who had failed to line up before the first whistle, had slowed Stuffit’s pace but she was fast approaching the pack again. A-Bomb could not break past Manhattan’s wall and called the jam off before Stuffit could score.
A-Bomb of New Jersey and Lil’ Miss Stuffit of Manhattan battle it out for jammer supremacy. Photo credit: rikomatic
Mayhem captain Sweet Sherry Pie faced off against Dirty Dames’ captain Carmen Monoxide to answer the Hellrazors’ first strike. Pie scored a powerful 9 points as Carmen, a former Gotham Girl, was taken out by her old opponent, Mayhem blocker Surly Temple, who clearly demonstrated why she was voted Most Feared in both 2005 and 2006. A-Bomb, the Hellrazors’ co-captain, struck back in jam three with a 2-0 over Fisti Cuffs.
On jam 4, jammers Big Bad Wolfe of the Hellrazors and Evil Iris of the Mayhem found themselves in a huge pile-up at the back of the pack and called out for penalties by the strict referee staff. The jam reset with Pie and Carmen once again squaring off. Carmen kept it close as she lost it 3-4 but was sent out to the penalty box, along with former Mayhem player Bone Crawford, who was whistled on a questionable tripping major. Stuffit, a 2006 transfer from Kansas City, lined up unopposed for the next jam, put on the jets for some quick passes on the inside, and scored a commanding 14 points.
Next, Fisti Cuffs of the Mayhem, famous for her play on two National qualifying teams, the Tuscon Saddletramps and Gotham Girls’ Travel Team, picked up lead jammer with an assist by pivot Bluebonnet Plague and bested A-Bomb 7-0. The depth and experience of the Mayhem stopped all of the opposing jammers from ever making it to a second pass but the heart-filled play of the Hellrazors would have chances to shine. Rookie Hellrazor Elle Toro managed a huge hit against Pie in jam 8, causing Pie to call off the jam and only get a 1-0 over Fender.
The Hellrazors kept the score even for the next few jams as Carmen’s phenomenal booty blocking echoed her performances on the 2006 GGRD League Champion Queens of Pain. With the score 47 to 14 and only 37 seconds left on the clock, Fisti Cuffs and Big Bad Wolfe lined up to jam. Shockingly, as the second whistle blew, both jammers began to, literally, boogie their way to the back of the pack with their hands in air and no cared that time expired long before any points could be scored.
Antics aside, the beginning of the second period was a vicious display of fierce Mayhem blocking as A-Bomb got stuck in the pack while Stuffit snatched up 5. However, the prison girls of Manhattan were soon sent to the penalty box and the Hellrazors were given a five on three penalty play for jam 2. The Mayhem killed the penalty by keeping Fender SmackHerFaster long enough in the pack for Stuffit to get out of the box, chase her down, and trigger Fender to call it off before scoring. The Mayhem would own the second period and practically shut the Hellrazors out as Fisti, Stuffit, and GoGo BaiBai of the Mayhem added big piles of points. The furious position 4 play of Fisti Cuffs, former Furious Truckstop Waitress in Tuscon, devastated Hellrazor jammers, and only found challenge with the speed skating force of A-Bomb.
Retiring Roxy Balboa is joined by Mayhem teammates GoGo Baibai, Sweet Sherry Pie and Surly Temple for a final lap. Photo credit: pup_vs_robot
Three departing Manhattan skaters were given their chance to jam as the second period neared its close. First, was Bitchie Slambora, formerly known as Tramp O’Lean, who, aided by a bloodthirsty Mayhem pack, tied A-Bomb 2-2. Second, fan favorite CC Bullets took on speedy Big Bad Wolfe. The Dirty Dames pack stopped Bullets and, in the midst of a pileup, CC was called out for a major use of hands. Wolfe also found herself sent to the box and things were reset with Stuffit and Carmen jamming. Stuffit zipped around the track to be lead jammer and get a game high 15 points while Carmen, another victim of tight referee calling, found herself in the box. In the next jam, 2007 Mayhem rookie Evil Iris put up an impressive 10 points as Surly and Carmen took a dangerous tumble into the stands.
Finally, the “People’s Champion,” Roxy Balboa, known for sharing the underdog tenacity of her fictional namesake, lined up for what would be the last, emotional jam of the evening. Roxy, an original Mayhem player since Gotham’s first expo bout in 2004, had announced her retirement earlier in the evening and now faced the unbreakable A-Bomb. The crowd roared as A-Bomb swiftly made it to the pack first but was nullified by a killer hit from Fisti Cuffs. Roxy swept through to claim lead jammer status while the Rocky theme song suddenly blasted from the sound system. As tears streamed down her face and the crowd rose to its feet for a standing ovation, Roxy Balboa went the distance to complete 3 scoring passes for a total of 12 points. Collapsing into the arms of her friends from all three leagues, Roxy heard the final bell of the bout ringing to finalize the Mayhem’s defeat of the Hellrazors 111 to 20.
On Sunday night, May 4th, the New Jersey Dirty Dames share the spotlight with the New York Shock Exchange in the first of a series of 2008 co-ed doubleheaders hosted by the NJDD at their Kendall Park home rink.
The New Jersey Dirty Dames Hub City Hellrazors drank champagne from the Jersey Cup Championship Trophy after rolling over the Garden State Rollergirls Iron Bound Maidens 118 to 69. The Maidens fought a hard battle against their archenemies but penalty trouble would stymie their attempts to retake an early lead and doom a late game comeback.
