There’s a lot of roller derby going on this weekend, but the single WFTDA matchup will be in Old Bethpage, NY, as the hosting Long Island Roller Rebels try to stop the rise of the increasingly successful Dominion Derby Girls on Saturday night.

In a way, this matchup is 13 months in the making — LIRR was originally scheduled to take on Dominion at March 2007’s East Coast Extravaganza in Philly, but Dominion had to pull out late. Pittsburgh’s unranked Steel City would step in at the last second to take their slot, and Long Island defeated them 117-87.

That was the only victory LIRR would see in 2007, though. They went dormant as a travel team for most of the rest of the year, coming back into action in November with a three-bout losing streak — 109-34 away against Gotham’s Brooklyn Bombshells home team, 111-99 at home against non-WFTDA Cape Fear, and 106-61 away to to unranked Connecticut. However, LIRR’s schedule for 2008 looks much busier than that of 2007, with this Dominion bout kicking off three interleague bouts in five weeks (they’ll take on non-WFTDA Lehigh Valley on April 13, and unranked Maine on May 3rd.)

While LIRR does field some longtime veterans in Captain Morgan, MadDonna, Amaretto Sourpuss and Summer Slam, they’ll be without their most effective jammer as C-Roll is unable to make the bout, and tough blocker Anna Tramp is reportedly retired from derby.

They’ll have their hands full with Dominion, who are steadily moving up in the national scene — they’re ranked 22nd and currently enjoying a four-bout win streak punctuated by a substantial January win over Sin City in Las Vegas, 169-44. Their roll also includes a 102-81 away win over currently unranked Ohio and a 150-80 home victory over unranked Steel City. Outside of WFTDA play, they also recently sank River City in a 159-26 romp on March 9.

Dominion’s crew is increasingly becoming known for speed, with jammers T. Rex Ya Face, Sweet N. Lowdown, Turbovision and Tsunami Tsue having functioned as the scoring agents in their recent bouts, but pack play from Spontaneous Combustya, Frankendoll, and Bam Bam McCha-Cha has stymied more than a few opposing jammers. Dominion will certainly need all of their players to contribute, though, as they bring a short roster of eleven to battle LIRR’s 13.

Additional reporting: Hambone, Sweet N. Lowdown, Captain Morgan

UPDATE: It’s a record-setting blowout at the expense of Long Island, as Dominion becomes the first team to break 300 points in a WFTDA regulation game and Long Island is held to only 6 points while being completely shut out in the second half. Dominion wins by 301 points, 307-6.

Captain Morgan #57 [captain] // MadDonna #31 // Amaretto Sourpuss #214 // Regine Bull #8 // D-Ball #73 // Baby Bop YO Face #88 // Cyanide Kisses #828 // Brawlette #27 // Kosher Kaos #18 // Etta Jams #55 // Carnage Electra #101 // Summer Slam #96 // Helluva Bottom Carter #00

T.Rex YaFace #65 mil B.C. [captain] // The Ruffian #1979 // bRat Out Of Hell #717 // Spontaneous Combustya #800C // Tsunami Tsue #00 // Asian Chowdown #X // BamBam McChaCha #37 // Sweet N. Lowdown #5 // Turbovision #7:11 // Frankendoll #2 // Pretty Skate Machine #SK8

WATERBURY, CT — On December 9, 2007, the CT RollerGirls of Connecticut introduced themselves to the interleague WFTDA scene, rolling out their inaugural “Stepford Sabotage” All-Star roster in a victory over the visiting Long Island Roller Rebels.

Connecticut hosted a well-paced, highly organized, and well-reffed affair, overseen by a mixed crew from Long Island, Connecticut, Garden State, Washington D.C., and Gotham. The bout featured the debut of ‘Dead End Cupcake,’ the Sabotage’s smiling knife-wielding homebody (aka former CT RollerGirl Dead End Allie), along with a ceremonial first-jam whistle from a local marine, on duty to guard the booty for the evening’s charity beneficiary, Toys for Tots.

Long Island brought a short roster of only eleven skaters, sorely missing interleague veterans MadDonna and Butterscotch Cripple (now skating out of Philly). The roster was slashed further when Long Island lost Trixie Timebomb in the first period to a knee injury. To make up for the difference, Long Island’s star jammer C-Roll bouted seemingly without any rest whatsover, toeing the jammer line in exactly half of the bout’s thirty-eight jams, along with an additional receipt of the star during her handful of turns at pivot.

The Sabotage displayed a much deeper jamming lineup, earning points from six different jammers in the first period alone, beginning with captain Pearl Jammer. The seven head-to-head matchups between Pearl and C-Roll were a treat to watch, as these two skaters are strikingly similar in size, style, and speed.

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OLD BETHPAGE, NY. –

By day, you might mistake them for “normal” young ladies who function as contributing members to society — bed-pan emptiers, shorthand specialists, full time housecat-sitters, paint-drying-monitors, or any number of other semi-rewarding acceptable careers for those marginal members of society who otherwise would be better off barefoot and pregnant, with bound feet.

But … you could not be more wrong. These women are, in fact, maladjusted freaks, living on the margins of society. At night, they strap on stinky skate pads and knock the snot out of each other. And, curiously enough, crazed mobs of anti-social hell-bound deviants pay hard-earned money to watch it happen.

It was just such a spectacle Saturday night here in Long Island, where the home town WFTDA Long Island Roller Rebels league All-Stars hosted the cream of the crop from North Carolina’s Cape Fear Roller Girls. The Carolinans survived an 11-hour drive to take the day, 111-99, in an evenly matched bout which featured good play from both developing leagues.

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In a highly entertaining bout between two friendly leagues, and in front of a wildly enthusiastic crowd at the intimate Hunter College Sportsplex, the Gotham Girls’ Brooklyn Bombshells took down the Long Island Roller Rebels All-Stars, 109-34. This was a 40-minute bout opening a double-header in which the Gotham Girls’ third and fourth ranked home teams each took on visiting teams in a tri-state area love-in. (The 1st and 2nd ranked teams battle in the November 17 finals.)

An extra added feature of the evening was Philly’s Roxy Rockett (formerly from Carolina) serving as a jammer ref. Other tri-state referees participating in the regional con-fab included Sugar Daddy, Miss Mayhem and AcuPuncher (New Jersey Dirty Dames), Thrillhouse (Garden State), and Jefferee and Psycho Billy (LIRR).

The bout started with a bang for the Brooklyn sailorettes, as jammer Sassy Hipsaw jumped out with a 9-0 romp over Long Island’s C-Roll, who was boxed in by Brooklyn blockers Ani DiSpanco, Anne Phetamean, and Hela Skelter. C-Roll did escape from the pack with a nifty leap over Hela Skelter’s left leg on the inside boundry, but C-Roll couldn’t get around for points before Sassy ended the jam. In the second stanza, Brooklyn’s Lil’ Red Terror outscored LIRR’s Summer Slam 7-3. Brooklyn got a bit sloppy, however, with 20 ft majors being awarded both to Sassy Hipsaw (in front) and Raggedy Animal (from behind). Brooklyn’s Aunti Christ, however, made up for the positional errors of her teammates by twice bringing Summer Slam to the court with devastating blocks.

Bombshell Ani Dispanco is bowed but fortunately unbroken after a shoulder injury sustained early in the second half. Photo credit: pup_vs_robot

Brooklyn piled on the points from there, but there was a bright spot for LIRR in the sixth jam of the period when LIRR’s Captain Morgan knocked down Brooklyn jammer Anne Phetamean, and her teammate Amaretto Sourpuss passed the star to pivot C-Roll to pick up 4 points for Long Island. Phetamean, however, recovered from the downing to rack up 9 points of her own. Sassy Hipsaw then scored a 10-0 double grand slam, aided by blocker teammate Hard Anya, who dramatically knocked down Regine Bull of the Roller Rebels, and by blocker Ariel Assault, who cleared a beautiful path on the inside. Assault bouted days after returning from her honeymoon — congrats, Ariel! In the following jam, Amaretto Sourpuss had a blocking moment of glory, clearing out Brooklyn’s Ani DiSpanco to assist teammate C-Roll in gaining Lead Jammer status and earning a 4-4 tie against Brooklyn’s Lil’ Red Terror.

Next, it was Anne Phetamean who swooped through the LIRR pack for a 9-0 victory, but it was a key booty block by Butterscotch Cripple (now skating for the Philly Rollergirls) who stopped the bleeding and forced Phetamean to call it off before any further scoring. One of Brooklyn’s many fan favorites, rookie Ani Dispanco, jammed in the 10th jam of period 1, to raucous crowd approval. Dispanco earned lead jammer and a 2-0 victory over Amaretto Sourpuss. Sourpuss was attacked with an illegal — but effective — block by Raggedy Animal which merited a major foul as a low blow. The first period ended with a brief Brooklyn jamming appearance by super-blocker Hela Skelter, but time expired before any points could be scored. Brooklyn led at the half, 68-15.

The second half began as the previous half began - with a big victory for Brooklyn’s Sassy Hipsaw. She picked up 14 points in a 2-minute jam, aided by her blocking teammates Ani DiSpanco, Anne Phetamean, Hela Skelter, and Hard Anya, who together held the dangerous C-Roll to just 4 points over the 2 minutes. Lil’ Red Terror then scored a 10-2 over Summer Slam, who was wiped out with an explosive block by Raggedy Animal. After the jam’s final whistles, LIRR’s Anna Tramp demolished former LIRR skater Aunti Christ with an after-the-whistle block which the referees didn’t catch. (All’s fair among former teammates!)

Next, Brooklyn’s rookie Barbara Ambush took the jamming line for the first time this season. She was felled by some effective hits from LIRR’s Serial Mom, and then wound up in the box for committing four minors. However, LIRR could not take advantage and lost the jam 3-0. The following jam, with Brooklyn’s jammer starting the box, could also have been a big opportunity for LIRR and their jammer Regine Bull. However, Regine was bottled up by Hela Skelter and Lil’ Red Terror, and she could only pick up a single point. In the fifth jam of the second period, Ani Dispanco took the jammer line again, and in a brilliant moment for LIRR, Ani was held in the pack by an impassable wall of Captain Morgan and Butterscotch Cripple. While LIRR’s Summer Slam took the lead, Dispanco struggled for multiple laps to break through the wall. Ani was eventually smashed to the outside by Captain Morgan. Dispanco skated for another lap before realizing that her systems had been damaged, and she permanently fell to the track. Medics were alerted, the jam was halted, and Ani’s left shoulder was iced and put in a sling. Initial diagnosis was a bruised shoulder, but Ani was done for the evening.

In the 8th jam of the period, LIRR’s Amaretto Sourpuss went up against Aunti Christ. Aunti entered the box, leaving Brooklyn at a disadvantage, but Anne Phetamean saved the day with block after block of Amaretto Sourpuss, knocking her down or sending her seriously off-course at least four times over the course of the jam. It was a 2-0 LIRR victory, and Phetamean’s heroics kept the damage at a minimum. In Jam 9, with Aunti Christ still in the box as a jammer, Summer Slam took the jamming line and achieved LIRR’s first clear victory of the evening, with a clean 4-0 victory.

Lil’ Red Terror (left) and Ariel Assault (right) of the Bombshells bid farewell to the Manhattan Mayhem’s Roxy Balboa, who played in her last GGRD game tonight. Photo credit: pup_vs_robot

The final jam of the evening was the most dramatic of all, as Brooklyn’s wrecking ball Hela Skelter took the line against Regine Bull in another rare jamming appearance. The two fought for Lead Jammer lap after lap, with each trading places behind the front line. Finally, it was Hela who won lead jammer by a mere step, to roars of approval from the partisan crowd. The jam concluded as a 4-4 tie, but Hela’s performance was a moving send-off to the spirited 2007 Brooklyn Bombshells, who defeated their Long Island sisters 109-34.