At last, the 2008 Detroit Derby Girls home season is at an end, and what better way to end the season than with a double-header featuring two games with all four of the DDG teams in action!

In the consolation game it will be the winless (0-3) D-Funk Allstars taking on the 1-2 Pistolwhippers. That game is followed by the DDG Championship game between the 2-1 Devil’s Night Dames vs. the 3-0 Detroit Pistoffs.

The games are at the usual location in the Drill Hall at the Masonic Temple in downtown Detroit, MI. Doors open at 6pm, first game starts at 7pm.

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Gotham Girls Roller Derby’s 4^th intraleague season kicks off this Saturday with the Manhattan Mayhem vs the Queens of Pain. Manhattan last took to the track in a substantial victory over the New Jersey Dirty Dames last November, while Queens spent the off-season focused on avenging a 90-95 loss to the Bronx Gridlock in 2007’s championship game

Similar to last year, every one of Gotham’s four borough teams will play each other once, and the two with the best records will square off for the championship on October 25th.

All games will be held at Hunter College Sportsplex, just a few blocks east of Central Park.

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BALTIMORE, MD — In the second of back-to-back narrow upsets in Charm City’s third season opener, last year’s third-place Junkyard Dolls surprised the two-time CCRG champion Night Terrors by a final of 74 to 63.

Both teams relied heavily on new blood in this contest. The Night Terrors, adjusting their gameplan after losing most of their jamming core during the 2007-2008 offseason, got a solid debut from rookie Minnie Piledriver — who led the Terrors with 18 points — and also key performances from Speed Regime transfer Psycho78 (17 points) and third-year veteran Rosie the Rioter (15 points.) The Dolls also had a significant Speed Regime transfer in Flo Shizzle, who led the scoring with 32 points and sealed the win with some late-game heroics.

As the bout kicked off, the Terrors immediately fell into a hole when leadoff jammer Marzipain went to the penalty box in the very first jam on a cutting-track major — opponent Flo Shizzle would score 7 points in that full-length jam, and followup Doll jammer would get a 9-3 win over Marzipain in the following frame. This left the Terrors looking at a disheartening 16-3 start after just two jams, but they’d regroup quickly.

Pulling lead jammer on 5 out of the next 6 jams, the Terrors went on a dominating 31-7 run — keyed by an 8-0 for Psycho78 over Ella Fitz-Peril in both jammers’ team debuts — that lifted the defending champs to a 34-23 lead.

But with things starting to look a little grim for the Dolls, team captain Dolly Rocket chose that moment to give her team a major boost by taking the jammer star on consecutive jams — first, she got lead and a 4-2 win over Psycho78, and then went right back to the jammer line for an explosive 10-0 win over Minnie Piledriver that put the Dolls back in front, 37-36.

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BALTIMORE, MD — A resurgent Mobtown Mods team went from worst to first in Charm City’s local season opener, thrilling their fans with a back-and-forth 74-58 win over last year’s second-place Speed Regime that came down to the very last jam.

While the off-season addition of two-time league MVP Joy Collision was a major factor in their victory — she scored 44 of the team’s 74 points — a strong second-half showing from Lady Quebeaum, along with some effective pack play from Judy Boom, Penaltyna and Angthrax, were crucial elements of the win. On the Speed Regime’s side, rookie jammer Bambi’s Revenge made an impressive debut with 17 points on 4 jams, while Stormin’ Mormon led the Regime point totals with 19, and transfer Holly Go Hardly (playing against the team she played for last year) was a monster in the pack.

For the first few jams of the bout, it looked like the Mods were going to go down to another of the lopsided defeats that characterized their winless 2007 season. After an opening 1-1 between Stormin’ Mormon and Joy Collision, the Speed Regime took lead jammer on the first five jams of the bout and constructed a 15-1 lead. However, after a Mod timeout, the red-and-black came storming back, opening with a massively crowd-pleasing 14-0 jam for Joy Collision over Deathany (who’d spend a minute of the jam watching from the penalty box) and following up with a 4-0 victory for Duchess of Torque over Stormin’ Mormon.

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By the final whistle on Saturday night, the Philly Roller Girls 2008 intraleague seeding will have been determined. Although any skater on either the Philthy Britches or the Heavy Metal Hookers would tell that her team should be first-ranked, we’ll find out for sure when the two teams meet head-to-head in the second of the evening’s two bouts. First up, however, the Broad Street Butchers face off against the Carolina Rollergirls’ Trauma Queens, who hope to fare better at the hands of a Philly home team than their sisters the Debutante Brawlers did in their 65-77 loss to the Hookers in March.

The Trauma Queens have only one bout to their name this year - a win vs. the Tai Chi-tas - while the Butchers are winless against the other Philly teams this year and have yet to play visitors from another league. The Butchers will be hoping to sharpen their skills in preparation for the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in June, at which they will challenge the Dutchland Rollers of Lancaster, PA; however, they will surely miss the services of all-star jammer Persephone (broken hand in her team’s 46-92 loss to the Hookers in April) as well as blockers Skirt McGirt and Jane Fondle.

The second bout of the evening will see the new and improved Heavy Metal Hookers taking on the 2006 and 2007 league champs, the Philthy Britches. The Hookers are claiming that 2008 is the “Year of the Hooker,” but the Philthy Britches have never lost a bout in three years of intraleague action and are coming in hot with big wins recently versus Harrisburg (142-92) and the Connecticut Rollergirls (123-36). This also happens to be a preview of this year’s Warrior Cup championship bout, as both teams have secured a spot in the finals. Even though the outcome of this meeting will not affect who plays in the June championship, the teams will surely be using this occasion to prepare their game plans for that meeting - and bragging rights are on the line.

The Hookers may be playing with out 2007 league MVP Teflon Donna, as her spot on the roster will be a game-time decision; the Britches will skate without two of their powerhouse blockers, Rosie Bloodbath and Dara Licks.

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On Saturday night, Charm City start their third season with a double header in downtown Baltimore, as the defending champion Night Terrors go up against the Junkyard Dolls and the Speed Regime takes on the Mobtown Mods. After two all-star bouts in the Baltimore Armory, Charm City moves to DuBurns Arena (home of major league indoor soccer’s champion Baltimore Blast) for their local season.

This five-bout season will be a bit shorter than the first two Charm City local seasons — with each team only facing each other once before a playoff doubleheader, every bout will be crucial to determining the #1 seed for the playoffs.

While the Night Terrors and Speed Regime dominated the first two seasons, a number of trades, retirements and transfers has scrambled the landscape and given the Junkyard Dolls and Mobtown Mods a serious shot at this year’s Donaghy Cup.

Night Terrors

The Night Terrors find themselves in something of a unfamiliar position as the 2008 season starts. Every longtime Charm City fan knows their storybook tale of their thrilling two-point last-jam comeback win in the 2006 CCRG championship over the previously undefeated Speed Regime and their season-long struggle for supremacy with the Regime in 2007, but with two convincing wins over Speed Regime to finish that season, they find themselves no longer scrappy underdogs but established front-runners, with every team in the league gunning for them.

However, the Terrors still have very much have something to prove this year — that they can take a championship without the help of the phenomenal two-time MVP Joy Collision, who has moved to the Mobtown Mods after two seasons with the Terrors. They’ve also lost all-star Dr. Skabs and veterans Mexican Fury and Nasty Trick since last year (all to CCRG retirement.)

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CHICAGO, IL — History and logic would favor the Fury for this match-up, but, with their characteristic disdain for reality, the Manic Attackers launched their assault on common sense with a ferocity that left their opponents looking nervously over their shoulders all night long. In a game that was expected to be a blowout, the Manics managed to remain in the game till the very last jam, finally falling 69-63.

The Fury disabled list left jammer phenom Kola Loka, pivot/blocker mainstay Hausa Pain and rookie Tall Drinka Slaughter languishing on the sidelines, but the Manics’ injuries were far more crucial: Malice With Chains, Mo Vengeance and Val Capone were banged up and dressed in their civvies.

As the teams lined up and commenced play, it was rather noticeable how well the Fury controls the front of the pack and how relatively shrimpy the Manics looked next to the big broads the Fury put on the rink. Yet the Manics found multiple ways to keep themselves in contention.

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CHICAGO, IL — What’s to be done about Varla Vendetta?

Every time she dons the star, she rockets through the pack before everyone else gets more than half a lap into the jam. Saturday night, the officials declared her lead jammer before the Double Crossers could even lay a lick on her. Even the referees seemed astonished.

She seems to accelerate precipitously coming out of the first turn. The Crossers sooner gauged her velocity when she would suddenly blast off right past them. Physics-wise, she has mastered some sort of slingshot effect, that pushes her to somewhere between mach five and warp one, leaving the Crossers lunging at the point she occupied a millisecond previously. Defend that, if you can!

The Double Crossers had a number of other problems last night, but this had to be the most intractable one. Their reputation for strategic smarts was no help to them here as they seemed unable to adjust their game to
match the Belles’ ability to control the pack, which served to totally shut down any potential opposition to the blinding power of their hellish jamming. It’s hard to see any obstacle to the diabolical debutante Belles’ inevitable drive to the Ivy King Cup.

In their last ditch attempt to slow down the juggernaut, the XXers threw everything they could (including each other) at the Belles, circulating in and out of the penalty box at a steady rate. And though Lucy Furr’s determined jamming made a few chinks in the score, and Anne Arkie redeemed Crossers pride with a 10-point jam late in the second half, there was not a lot of suspense here. Double Crossers fans can take comfort in knowing that the assassins remain in the running for a playoff berth. These teams will likely butt heads again.

On May 10th, the Windy City home regular season comes to a close as the Manic Attackers get the Double Crossers and the Fury tries to stop the Hell’s Belles.

Photo: Katie Stapley

DETROIT, MI — April 12 saw one of the greatest matches in Detroit Derby Girls history, but when the dust had finally settled it was the Detroit Pistoffs narrowly edging the Devil’s Night Dames by a score of 89-84. These are the two top teams in the DDG in 2008, and they showed why. There were 12 lead changes in the game, and the largest leads were 9 points for the Dames and 8 points for the Pistoffs. Each team was within 3 points of the other team after 27 of the game’s 40 jams.

Going into the final jam of the 3rd period the Pistoffs led 86-84. The Dames sent out their ace jammer Racer McChaseHer (who jammed 9 of the 3rd period’s 15 jams) versus the Pistoffs’ Effin’ Money. But it was the Pistoffs building a mighty wall with Smashing Darling, Elle McFearsome, Cookie Rumble, and Bikini Killer who first forced Racer to take an off-track detour and then held her up long enough for Effin’ to sneak through and get lead jammer. Effin’ was able to come around and score 3 points on that jam, and smartly called off the jam just as Racer had finally come around to the back of the pack to try to score. Then there wasn’t enough time to get another jam started, and that’s how it finished. It was a fine example of how derby should be played.

Each team featured a veteran lineup, although the Dames had 4 “fresh meat” (rookies) amongst their 12 skaters in uniform. The Pistoffs had 11 skaters for the game, all with previous DDG experience except for Maim West, who had formerly skated for Providence.

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ST. PAUL, MN — In the closing bout of the Minnesota season-ending doubleheader, the Rockits capped off an undefeated season with a hard-fought win over a tenacious Dagger Dolls team, 41-32.

Rockit Harmony Killerbruise and Dolly Roxanne Rolls jammed to begin this final match. Harmony bounded through the pack taking the first lead, while Scarmen Hellectra rolled Roxanne to the back twice before the veteran Doll could pass the pack. While Roxy escaped and took two, Harmony scored four points for the Rockits. Vuedoo Prodigy and Sparkle Ninja – both with two full years under their belts – next lined up and took off. Norah Torious delivered Vuedoo to the back of the pack after almost scoring a quick pass-through, but the Prodigy nonetheless took the lead and scored two while the Randi and Coochie of the Rockits slowed Sparkle Ninja.

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