On the heels of the Pacific Northwest’s recent Throwdown in the Sound men’s tournament comes signs of increasing boy-derby organization in the Northeast — Massachusetts’ Pioneer Valley Dirty Dozen, New York Shock Exchange and Baltimore’s Harm City Homicide (of which your humble correspondent is a member) have formed a loose alliance by the name of the Men’s Derby Coalition and released a short open letter to the derby community in leading up to the Eastern Men’s Derby Conference (or, as I’ve been calling it, DudeCon.) In Bazooka Joe’s words, from the letter:

Over the coming months and years HCH, NYSE and PVRD will continue to devote our time and energy to the positive expansion of Flat Track Roller Derby. Though it is a bit premature to speak of a national organization, we are in early stages of coalescing the existing men’s Derby concerns around the country to form a constructive environment for new male teams. In keeping with this effort, our three clubs will offer our support to help any and all developing men’s leagues learn the game, handle logistics and gain exposure.
 

First on the agenda for our emerging group is a small men’s Derby summit to be held in New York City on Saturday, April 5th. This event will consist of a few organized scrimmages, some open pick-up games, a bit of training and a whole lot of brainstorming & discussion. Tickets will not be sold to the general public, but interested Rollerfolk are invited to come and meet the fellows and watch the action on the track. For more information please check out the website: The Eastern Men’s Derby Conference.

You can read the whole thing here.

WATERBURY, CT — In a New England throw-down, the re-tooled Rhode Island Riveters of Providence kicked off their 2008 campaign with a solid victory over their up-and-coming neighbors, the Stepford Sabotage of CT Rollergirls.

The Riveters, in their first interleague action since their loss to Carolina at the 2007 Heartland Havoc, featured only five skaters who competed in PRD’s two bouts at Havoc. PRD manager Buzzy professes that the league took a ‘back to basics’ approach in the off-season, with a focus on skating building blocks and teamwork skills for veterans and rookies alike. PRD also added to the Riveters roster a healthy dose of experienced skaters who happened to be absent from the Havoc rosters due to injury or temporary retirement (including Jailbird Jenny, Bunnicula, Lotta Pain, Burnin’ Helen, and Hysterica!). The off-season work paid off in the form of highly communicative, co-operative, and confident packs.

The CTRG continues to play with an impressively high level of skill, depth, and organization for a league which first bouted in December 2006. Even with a few key blockers unavailable due to injury, the CTRG sent eight different legitimate jamming threats to the line, six coming away with points (led by Black Cherry with 14).

Additionally, since their previous WFTDA bout (a December victory over Long Island), the CTRG added the experience, speed, and savvy of Syd Rock, a former Copper Queen from Tucson Roller Derby.

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(Justice Feelgood Marshall remains weirded out by talking about himself in the third person, but the standards of journalism demand it and he is nothing if not a Serious Journalist.)

In a 20 minute men’s exhibition, the New York Shock Exchange meted out some severe punishment to the Harm City Homicide, opening up with 36 unanswered points on their way to a rout of the home team, 97-14.

From the first couple of jams it was apparent that the Homicide might be in some trouble, as leadoff Shock Exchange jammer Jonathan R lapped leadoff Homicide jammer Justice Feelgood Marshall twice in an opening 10-0, and Gordon Gekko added a few more with a 13-0 over Virginia Slim on Jam 2. By the time the Shock Exchange’s Rinkworm jumped on the pile by adding a 13-0 of his own on Jam 3, it was 36-0 and it seemed possible that the Homicide might not get on the board at all — however, when Gordon Gekko went to the box during his opening pass in Jam 4, the Homicide blockers seemed to have much more success focusing on offense, allowing Homicide jammer Justice Feelgood Marshall to get the crowd riled up with an 11-0 jam that brought the score to 36-11. The Homicide managed to keep the next couple of jam scores close, as Jonathan R called off a quick 4-0 over a rapidly closing Virginia Slim and Rinkworm had to do the same on a 1-0, bringing the score to Shock Exchange 41, Homicide 11 with about 10 minutes left in the bout.

Harm City Homicide’s Carpe Demon tries to line up a shot on Shock Exchange jammer Rinkworm. Photo credit: epmd_derby

It proved to be only a short respite, though, and Shock Exchange would drop their 3 biggest jams as the 20 minutes came to an end. Gordon Gekko ran up a big 14-0 on Virginia Slim, and while Justice Feelgood Marshall got a few more points on the board for Homicide on the following jam, it still went to the Shock Exchange overall as Jonathan R won a 7-3 jam that made the score Shock Exchange 62, Homicide 14. New York pulled out an entirely new weapon here, letting Teen Wolf take a trip to the jammer line against Deustch Bag, and Teen Wolf was able to put up 14 more points with the help of a trip to the box by Deustch Bag. On the bout’s final jam, Deustch Bag passed the helmet star to Justice Feelgood Marshall upon being released from the box, but no sooner had Justice started his opening pass that he found himself sent to the penalty box on a truly unique cutting track major. Without a Homicide jammer on the track, Gordon Gekko was able to drop 5 point lap after 5 point lap against a tiring Homicide defense, and by the time the penalty was over Gekko had already put up 21 points. Justice was able to get the hometown crowd to blow up one more time when Gekko, incorrectly believing that the bout was ending on the period clock rather than the jam clock, began prematurely celebrating to the crowd and left himself open for a blindside hit, but the Homicide would not be able to put any more points on the board.

Gordon Gekko led the Shock Exchange with a remarkable 48 points in 4 jams, notching an average of 12 points per jam, while Justice Feelgood Marshall was the offensive output for Homicide with 14. Homicide was given 47 minors and 1 major, while Shock Exchange got 31 minors and 2 majors. New York took lead jammer on 9 of the 10 jams of the period, while Homicide only pulled it once; there were no jams with no lead jammer.

The halftime of Charm City’s championship bout this Sunday sees the return of a Charm City championship tradition in a men’s derby exhibition. Last year the Charm City refs, playing co-ed, squeaked past the Pioneer Valley Dirty Dozen in a 15 minute expo, but this time it’s a full 20 minutes of the visiting New York Shock Exchange vs. the Harm City Homicide (your humble journalist’s team) in their home debut. Although the Shock Exchange often plays halftime exhibitions against themselves in the NY/NJ area, both teams have just one 40 minute bout under their belts: the Shock Exchange defeated Pioneer Valley 107-50 in April (although PVRD skated 7 players against 14 for NYSE) and the Homicide lost to Pioneer Valley 100-67 in September.

This bout has the distinction of featuring more referees playing in the game than will be officiating the match (eight: Homicide’s Justice Feelgood Marshall and Virginia Slim (Charm City), Shock Exchange’s Psycho Billy and Jefferee (Long Island) and Endless Justin, Hambone, Flying Squirrel and Mr. Rawk (Gotham)). The Gotham refs will all be skating under alter-alter egos: Endless Justin as Gordon Gekko, Hambone as Snausage, Flying Squirrel as Jonathan R and Mr. Rawk as Junk Bond. Doubtless the effect of having so many refs in the game will be that neither team will commit any penalties.

UPDATE: Shock Exchange delivers a solid schooling, winning 97-14 (full recap to come).

7734 Carpe Demon // 9 Deutsch Bag // 1954 Justice Feelgood Marshall // 4.7 Killer Glennuine Draft // 22 Man Rayge // 8 Mickey I’m-So-Fine // 38 Natty Bones // 2Sxy Otto Erotic // 1 Sin Diesel // 523 Virginia Slim //45 Yosemite Slam

47 Abraham Drinkin // 138 Angelo Death // 4CE Darth Invader // $$ Gordon Gecko // 420 Jefferee // 6 Jonathan R // 007 Junk Bond // 14 Maulin’ Brando // 13 Psycho Billy // 11 Rinkworm // 15 Snausage // 111 Teen Wolf // 40th Wolfgang Von Stomp //668 Wyatt Trash

In the debut bout for the Baltimore’s men’s team, the Harm City Homicide gave Pioneer Valley’s Dirty Dozen a first-half scare before succumbing to endurance and penalty trouble in the final ten minutes, 100 to 67. Both teams came into the bout fielding a short roster of nine skaters.

Man Rayge and Sin Diesel of the Homicide warm up before the bout. Photo credit: Cynical Scribe

The 40 minute bout kicked off with Homicide captain Virginia Slim picking up a grand slam on the Dirty Dozen captain Dr. Spankenstein, but with Spankenstein holding lead jammer status, he was able to get 4 of his own to start the bout off at Homicide 5, Dirty Dozen 4. It was a scenario that would repeat throughout the half, with the stronger Dirty Dozen jammers almost always getting through first to claim lead jammer, but the nimbler Homicide jammers often sneaking ahead on subsequent laps. On a brutal full-length Jam 5, the first of the bout where the Dirty Dozen did not get lead jammer, Homicide’s co-captain Justice Feelgood Marshall pulled 6 points to Dr. Spankenstein’s 3, putting the Homicide up 18 to 12. Virginia Slim would extend the lead to 21-12 a couple of jams later with a 3-0 over Hellfire, but the Homicide ran into a spot of trouble with about 4 minutes to go in the half, when Dr. Spankenstein tore through a tiring Homicide defense on a power play, putting up an 11-0 jam for the home team that gave the Dirty Dozen their first lead of the bout at 26-24. Harm City finished the half strong, though, with Virginia Slim bursting out of the penalty box on the subsequent jam to nab lead jammer status in a 1-0 jam over Bazooka Joe, and with Joe in the penalty box to start the last jam of the period, Justice Feelgood Marshall was able to put up a 5-0 to send the teams to the locker rooms with the score Homicide 30, Dirty Dozen 26.

Harm City started off the second half with strong back-to-back wins — a 12-8 for Justice Feelgood Marshall over Hellfire and a 5-2 for Carpe Demon over Davy Jones — that gave the Homicide their biggest lead of the bout at 47-36. On the third jam of the period, though, there was a huge momentum swing in favor of the home team when Dr. Spankenstein again ripped though the Homicide’s defense, going through for 4 scoring laps in a jaw-dropping 19-2 jam over VIrginia Slim that put the home team back in front, 55-49. Slim would get a measure of revenge a couple of jams later, though, running up a 6-0 jam over The Rev that got the Homicide back to within just one point, putting the score at Pioneer Valley 62, Harm City 61 with about 10 minutes left in the half.

Harm City Homicide pivot Sex Ed jockeys for position with Dirty Dozen pivot Bazooka Joe. Photo credit: Cynical Scribe

Right about then, though, was when the Homicide suffered a crushing run of shorthanded jams that put the game solidly in the home team’s hands. It started inauspiciously enough, with The Rev winning a close 2-1 jam over Yosemite Slam, but Slam went into the penalty box near the end of the jam, and Hellfire put up a very quick 5-0 on the subsequent jam, calling the jam off before Slam’s penalty was over and giving the Dirty Dozen another chance to start with their jammer unopposed. With the score Dirty Dozen 69, Homicide 62 and about 8 minutes to play, the Dirty Dozen put out their most dangerous weapon, bringing Dr. Spankenstein back to the line, and once again he went for big points, with most of the Homicide blockers clearly exhausted. Slam finally got out of the penalty box during this jam, but nonstop hammering from the Dirty Dozen blockers caused him to pick up a fresh 4 minors before getting through the pack, sending him back to the penalty box. At the end of that 2 minute jam, Spankenstein had put up a back-breaking 16-0 jam, and on top of that Hellfire was able to drop another unopposed 5-0 before Yosemite Slam got back out of the box, finally claimed lead jammer and ended a brutal series for the visitors. In those 4 jams, the Dirty Dozen had gone on a 28-1 run, putting the score at Dirty Dozen 90, Homicide 62. With only 4 minutes left on the clock, there wouldn’t be any time for Homicide to attempt to recover. The final score was Dirty Dozen 100, Harm City Homicide 67.

Pioneer Valley’s Dr. Spankenstein ruled nearly all jammer stat categories, putting up an amazing 53 points in just 6 jams, notching 8.8 points per jam and running up a jammer point differential of +40. Meanwhile, Justice Feelgood Marshall led the scoring for Harm City, ringing up 42 points on 8 jams. Pioneer Valley’s Hellfire was most successful in attaining lead jammer status, getting it on 4 of his 6 jams for a 66%. The Dirty Dozen picked up 58 minors and 4 majors, while the Homicide was charged with 52 minors and 2 majors. Pioneer Valley controlled the lead jammer battle, taking it on 13 jams against just 4 for the Homicide. In the 22 jams of the bout, there were 5 with no lead jammer.

Pioneer Valley’s victory puts them at 1-1 in 40 minute bouts, with a loss to the New York Shock Exchange in May. Harm City Homicide makes their home debut on Sunday, October 14th in Baltimore, when they face off in a 20 minute halftime exhibition bout against the Shock Exchange during the Charm City Roller Girls’ championship doubleheader.

(Note: this game was played as part of a doubleheader with Pioneer Valley’s female team, Western Mass Destruction, going up against a Northeast combination team of Connecticut Rollergirls, Gotham Girls Roller Derby, Charm City Roller Girls and Suburbia Roller Derby playing as the Tri-Skate Collision Coalition. The Collision Coalition held a big 51-11 lead after the first half, but WMD came back strong in the second half, narrowing the score to as close as 59-40 before the Collision Coalition regained their rhythm and held on to win, 74-55. Your humble reporter feels bad for not giving that one a full recap treatment, but saw very little of it due to strategizing between halves and recovering afterwards.)