Preview: 2012 MRDA Championships
#1 Your Mom Men’s Derby
2012 MRDA Record: 6-1
First Game: Saturday 9am vs #8 Mass Maelstrom
Joining MRDA in June of 2011, Your Mom Men’s Derby was able to squeeze in the four MRDA bouts needed to qualify to be ranked for the 2011 MRDA Championships. Yet, despite only losing by 43 points to then-#1 St. Louis GateKeepers, Your Mom finished one spot away from an invite to Champs. This year is a completely different story. Due in large part to a 199-150 victory over defending-Champion New York Shock Exchange at Spring Roll this year, Your Mom is attending the 2012 MRDA Championships in style as the #1 seed.
All three Your Mom skaters interviewed agreed Spring Roll was their favorite part of 2012: “Playing our first Spring Roll really felt like a ‘welcome to the club’ party for us,” Your Mom’s Peter Pan said. “Up until that point, we felt a bit like outsiders. Meeting a bunch of other players from all over really inspired us to be more focused and committed to the sport.”
“At Spring Roll, I got the chance to skate against three teams I’d never skated against and meet skaters from around the nation,” Your Mom’s vicious blocker Seahorses Forever added. Your Mom won all three of their games at Spring Roll beating Pioneer Valley Dirty Dozen (318-59) and Harm City (427-50), but beating the Shock Exchange was what really put Your Mom on everyone’s radar.
“Beating the Shock Exchange was my favorite moment of the 2012 season,” Your Mom’s Frank Not Sohotra affirmed. It was especially thrilling for Frank Not Sohotra, who was returning from a torn ACL/meniscus that sidelined him for nine months.
Going into the final regular-season rankings, Your Mom had a 6-0 record that included a 257-143 trouncing of #5 Puget Sound at home. Last month, in a bout that will not count toward the rankings, a short-handed Your Mom team was dominated by the #2-seed GateKeepers, 330-78.
The team sports two notable 2012 transfers in Dirty Larry, a founding member of long-established Twin City Terrors, and B.S. Smacker, formerly of the Green Bay Smackers (who joined the MRDA in July of this year).
So, what can we expect from Your Mom at Champs? “The blinding seductive beauty of glorious white hot sexy derby magic illuminated by emerald seahorse sunshine and other stuff too,” Seahorses Forever said.
Peter Pan (real name: Tony Muse), who along with his brother, Frank Not Sohotra (Dante Muse), has won multiple world championships in speed skating, preferred to offer an understatement: “You may see a fast guy or two.” He added, "We appreciate how much we have been accepted into the community despite only playing the sport a few years. We understand we make all kinds of rookie mistakes a team playing at our level shouldn’t make, but it is only because we are still rookies. We are not just speed skaters playing roller derby. We actively train and practice to succeed specifically at roller derby, and we even watch other teams in an effort to learn from them. We are scared every time we play, but also pumped at the opportunity to overcome our own fears and other’s doubts about us.”
Your Mom’s first-round opponent is the Mass Maelstrom; the bottom-seeded Mass Maelstrom will likely be overmatched against a Your Mom team that regularly defeats lower-ranked opponents by over 200 points.
9 Frank Not Sohotra // 3 Peter Pan // 7 Seahorses Forever // 11 Dearth Diggler // i69 Twinkle Toes // 6 Sugar Boots // 88 Arsonl // 12 B.S Smacker // 1 Bubbles // 65 Skatin Worshiper // 5 Lil Bunny Foo Q // 56 Suicide Snow Cone // 1369 Dirty Larry // 72 Moose Knuckle // 4hir Lily Pad // 39 Cleveland Stever // 1 Mulato Madness // 13 Bin Blockin // 50 Tallerina // 86 Baby Jesus