USA Sweeps First Roller Derby World Cup With 336-33 Win Over Canada
TORONTO, ON -- The first-ever Roller Derby World Cup came down to the top seeds -- 1 USA and 2 Canada. Canada managed to put up more points than USA's previous victims to the excitement of a passionate home crowd, but the final score was still an overwhelming victory for the overwhelmingly favored USA, 336-33.
Canada came into the game with an unfortunate roster scratch, as Georgia W. Tush suffered a broken collarbone earlier in the day against England, robbing Canada of a third of a jammer core that included Luludemon and Iron Wench.
The first jam was Atomatrix up against Canada's Soul Rekker, and it kicked off with a 15-0 to USA as Canada devoted all resources to trying to free Rekker but couldn't do it until Atom had been through four times. The next jam, though, was a crowd-exploder as Iron Wench claimed lead for Canada over Nicole Williams, but Wench had to call it at 0-0 as she rolled up for her scoring pass.
The next jam found Canada jammer Luludemon having trouble with Sassy and Tannibal Lector, but getting out of the pack in time to hold DeRanged to 4-0. Gunpowder Gertie then tried her luck for Canada, but there was no way through a pack of Fisti Cuffs, Suzy Hotrod, Teflon Donna and Psycho Babble; Atomatrix doubled USA's score with a 19-0 before the jam was called on injury to Jess Bandit.
It was 38-0 there, and Canada got an opportunity when Williams was boxed as jammer for Team USA; however, Disco Akers, Urrk'n Jerk'n, Joy Collision and Frida Beater would not let Canada jammer Soul Rekker find any daylight. Even with a minute in the box, Williams still managed to complete her first pass and add 9-0 to USA's score, and Rekker ended the jam on the box on a major track cut.
Deranged was given the star on the followup power jam -- good blocking from Canada's Lil' Mama and Eight Mean Wheeler managed to slow her roll a bit on her first two passes, but it still eventually turned into a 19-0, and USA was up 66-0 ten minutes into the game. A huge 28-0 for Suzy Hotrod moved the needle to 94-0, but Hotrod ended the jam in the box, giving Luludemon a full minute alone; she got lead and then took serious battering from Fisti Cuffs and DeRanged but managed to ignite the audience with an eventual 5-0. It was 94-5 with 15 minutes in the half, and USA went over 100 on a 10-0 to Atomatrix next.
Canada got their third lead jammer status of the game to Iron Wench next, and she blasted up the inside line to take a 4-1 win and make it 105-9 -- more points than any team had previously managed to score in a game against USA.
After a 0-0, Canada's Gunpowder Gertie got lead after opposing number Urrk'n Jerk'n was boxed early, but Gertie attempted an apex leap that terminated squarely on Tannibal Lector's back and Gertie got boxed herself without points. Urrk'n took 25-0 out of the box to put USA up 130-9 with 9 minutes in the first half. Canada was unable to pick up any more points in the half, and it closed with USA putting on their expected domination, 178-9.
USA's lead hit exactly 200 points at 209-9 about six minutes into the second half, as Canada continued to get particularly gutsy performances in the pack from Windigo, Eight Mean Wheeler and Jess Bandit but was consistently unable to translate that into freedom for their jammers.
It wasn't till there were 17 minutes left in the game on a score of 248-9 that Canada got back on the board as Suzy Hotrod went to the box against Luludemon. Lulu took lead and battled her way through Psycho Babble, Frida Beater, Nicole Williams and Atomatrix twice for a 10-0. The crowd exploded for that one, and Iron Wench managed to claim another lead and 4-0 for Canada that drove the crowd into a frenzy as Canada doubled their score in just two jams at 248-22.
Although there was no question USA was headed for the victory, Canada had some more bright points after that. A few jams later, Iron Wench managed to get lead and some more points for Canada two jams later, but it went 4-2 as Urrk'n Jerk'n blasted through the pack as Wench was stuck and almost came back for more before Wench called. On the followup, it was Luludemon getting another lead for Canada and taking 3-0. It was 263-27 favoring USA there, but the energy in the building was high with Canada managing to give their native fans reasons to cheer.
That'd be just about the end of the Canada scoring until the final jam, though. Going into it, it was 331-28 but USA lost their jammer Tannibal Lector on a major back block, and Canada fans got one last chance to explode as their jammer Soul Rekker equalized the jam at 5-5 to put up a final score of 336-33 USA.
Team USA's roster for the final was Sassy (Oly), Tannibal Lector (Oly), Atomatrix (Oly), Joy Collision (Charm City), Teflon Donna (Philly), Suzy Hotrod (Gotham), Fisti Cuffs (Gotham), Anna ("Donna Matrix") Kolberg (Gotham), Nicole "Bonnie Thunders" Williams (Gotham), Psycho Babble (Rocky Mountain), Frida Beater (Rocky Mountain), Deranged (Rocky Mountain), Urrk'n Jerk'n as Booty Blockya (Rocky Mountain), and Tracy "Disco" Akers (Denver).