Pioneer Valley Faces New Jersey & New York in Co-Ed Action

By Dainty Inferno, Last updated Tue May 5 2009 11:30pm

ENFIELD, CT -- This weekend in Enfield, CT, be prepared for an exciting co-ed doubleheader when the New Jersey Hellrazors and the New York Shock Exchange team up to battle Pioneer Valley Roller Derby. These teams know each other well, as it was almost exactly two years ago that they first faced off against each other. In that matchup, the female team for PVRD, Western Mass Destruction, prevailed over the erstwhile Hub City Hellrazors (now New Jersey) as the New York Shock Exchange won over PVRD's Dirty Dozen in the first modern men's bout.

The undefeated NYSE has continued their domination over PVRD and every other men's team they've faced since then, while the Hellrazors avenged their loss to WMD a year later in a 81-51 victory. In the last incarnation of this doubleheader matchup, the Hellrazors, as part of the Garden State Rollergirls, suffered a nailbiting loss to WMD by a score of 60-53, while NYSE celebrated a victory over the Dirty Dozen by a score of 69-46.

The Hellrazors bring a roster of veterans with them to the track this weekend, filling in gaps with a couple of mercenaries from Garden State. Captain Joan'a Sparks and Ass. Captain Angry Beaver will be at the helm, with speedsters A Bomb and Chelsea Brewser (from GSR) providing punch at the jammer position. Blockers that Pioneer Valley jammers will want to avoid are the hard-hitting V-Rod Destroyher, returned from a stint with the Jersey Shore Rollergirls, and the powerful Jheri Kill. Co-captains Nora Morse and Juggernaut Bitch will be guiding the Western Mass Destruction, many of whom are quite familiar with their old adversaries from Jersey.

Ballistic Miss L #720 // Beast Infection #533 // Big Vinny's Kid #13 // Bitches Bruze #802 // Bloodbath & Beyond #99 // Chickadee Struction #413 // Clam Jammer #7 // Diesel 'N Gin #25 // Gnome Ercy #14 // Holy Hellga #32 // Juggernaut Bitch #454 // Nora Morse #11 (Co-Captain) // Pink Panzer #88 (Co Captain) // Router Girl #17

Joan'a Sparks (Captain) #107 // Angry Beaver (Ass.Cap) #17 // Abomb #235U // V-Rod Destroyher U-4  // Jheri Kill #360 // Mental Block #00 // Chickie Boom #9 /// Divine Wreckage #P1:16 // Hits N Giggles #11-teen // Don't Care Bear # H8U // Speedy Gungetcha #242 // Chelsea Brewser(gsr sub) #54-46 // Junkyard Jet (gsr sub) #5.7

The New York Shock Exchange has an advantage of many talented players to choose their game rosters from, and are bringing a full set of 14 to Connecticut. Captain Jonathan R is a speedy nuisance to the opposition as a jammer and is always fun to watch whether blocking or jamming. The NYSE roster is full of hard-hitting brutes such as Maulin' Brando, Filthy McNasty, Abe Drinkin' (bench coach for WFTDA's #1 Gotham Girls) and Angelo Death, but it's well balanced by fast and wily skaters such as Patrick Bateman, Rinkworm, and Teen Wolf, who will all likely get time with the jammer star. This bout also marks the return of the quick-footed Mothra, making a miraculous comeback after a grimace-inducing broken leg endured in the first full-length men's bout last June that pitted NYSE against Baltimore's Harm City Homicide. With a new set of screws in his leg, he's bionic and ready for action.

The Dirty Dozen are actually a Dirty Three-Quarters of a Dozen, bringing 9 tough players to the bout. Captain Dr. Spankenstein will likely wear the jammer star for the boys in fatigues, as well as Jurasskick Park, The Rev, Bazooka Joe, and Davy Jones.

Having played many bouts with short rosters, the endurance of the Dirty Dozen has been tested over and over, and as one of the most established men's teams on the East Coast, they've had their share of victories -- but most recently suffered a big upset at the hands of the young and previously winless Connecticut Death Quads. CTDQ had been severely blown out in January by Baltimore's Harm City Homicide, 145-29, but managed to shock Pioneer Valley by beating them 49-46 on April 4. For Pioneer Valley, nothing would erase the bitter memory of that surprise faster than becoming the first team to knock off the Shock Exchange.

Expect an action-packed bout from both the men and the women on Saturday as another chapter is added to this storied rivalry.

Abe Drinkin' #4 Score and 7 // Angelo Death #138 // Darth Invader #4ce // Filthy McNasty #61 // Jonathan R #6 (Captain) // Maulin' Brando #14 // Mothra #9ish // MotorPsycho #127 // Patrick Bateman #West 81st // PsychoBilly #13 // Rinkworm #11 // T-Stop Tornado #517 // Teen Wolf #||| // Wolfgang Von Stomp #40th

Bazooka Joe #49 // Brutus Priest #39 // Davy Jones #78 // Dr. Spankenstein #113v (Captain) // Fresh Eddie Fresh #<3 // Jurasskick Park #1993 // Rev, The #71 // Rollin Redshirt #1955 // Velawesomeraptor #12