LOS ANGELES, CA - When the Tough Cookies began their election-themed "Cookies 2008" campaign, it seemed like a hilarious joke. Their last game in 2007 was a serious whooping that still stands as the widest defeat in LA Derby Dolls intraleague play, 55-24 -- a 31 point spread.

Even when they defeated the 2007 contenders and 2006 champion Fight Crew in the 2008 season opener, it seemed anomalous. The Fight Crew fought a game of attrition down to only 6 players by the end of the game, and still lost by only 7 points.

But the perception from wannabe champs to serious season competitors changed not from a Derby Dolls game, but from a flat track game under WFTDA rules against the Orange County Rollergirls. Improvement in team play and strategy in that game was clear as day, and if they could take that to back to the banked track, they could certainly be the a top dog in the LADD season. The "Cookies 2008" campaign wasn't so much of a joke any more.

Then they beat the Sirens. And the Fight Crew again. They were in the championship for sure. But then they were off for 6 months, with only the skaters in the all-star games playing games between their last game against the Sirens in April, and the championship this last weekend. Could the team still maintain its edge?

For their part, the Sirens did what was expected. They'd been in two championships, won one of them, and were the default team to beat. They had superjammers Mila Minute and Kung Pow Tina, and a brutal, organized defense that never stops.

After the first whistle, it seemed like the Cookies campaign was stalled. In the first three jams, Sirens jammers Mila Minute and V. Lee threw 10 points on the scoreboard to the Cookies 1. The Sirens defense held the Cookies jammers back, giving their jammers a significant lead before any of the TC jammers could even exit the pack. But the Cookies edged up, narrowing the spread, and by the 6th jam, they started holding the Sirens to a standstill, with no points scores for the Sirens for four jams in a row. By the end of the 1st quarter (LADD plays their bouts in four 15 minute quarters), it was Sirens 17, Tough Cookies 16.

In the first jam of the 2nd quarter, the Cookies pulled ahead for the first time in the game, 18-17. But the Sirens didn't take it standing still and regained their lead in the 3rd jam, 20-18. Throughout the quarter, the leads were exchanged a couple of times, the Sirens obtaining a 7 point lead briefly that didn't last. Still, the Sirens finished the 2nd with a shaky 28-26 lead. And the Tough Cookies defense kept them to that 28 point score for the last four jams.

The consistently close score and team switching leads showed that both teams were near equals as far as defense and offense. Both teams had similar approaches to holding the front of the pack and rotating their blockers as the jammers passed through the pack. Both teams had jammers with excellent evasive skills who could escape the other teams walls-o-blockers as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Both teams had jammers trying to pulverize each other before before they even reached the pack.

But there were differences. The Sirens concentrated their scoring prowess among two jammers: Mila Minute and V. Lee. The Touch Cookies were spreading the wealth more evenly among Laura Palm-her, Gori Spelling, Krissy Krash, Iron Maiven and Laguna Beyatch. Former score burner Kung Pow Tina was a distant third holding up her end of the show.

As the 3rd quarter opened, it looked like it was going to be a game of inches. It took the Sirens 8 jams to chalk up another 10 points, with the Cookies shadowing 4 points behind them. But then while the Sirens jammer sat it out on the 9th jam with a major, Krissy Krash fought her way through the full Sirens blockade twice for a 5 point score, bringing the Cookies into the lead for the second time in the game, 39-34. Then the Sirens again pulled ahead. It didn't help the Cookies case when pummeling blocker Kaboom was ejected.

But fate was about to balance the scales for the Cookies. The Sirens were leading 50-45, when one of the Sirens leading blockers, PITA was ejected for excessive penalty accumulation.

The heat was cranked to 3rd degree burns in the 8th Jam of the 4th quarter as Sirens speed queen Mila Minute took on Cookies captain Iron Maiven in jammer on jammer action, both skaters skidding their bodies on the track as they hit the back of the pack. With both teams' defense on red alert, neither got the opportunity to take the score up a notch. The score continued its three run jam stagnating at 51-47 Sirens.

Laura Palmer got a chance to go unopposed as the Sirens ran jammerless due to a major penalty. The Sirens ran a picture perfect defense, rotating their blockers as Palmer got by to get back in front of her, until Krissy Krash cleared a path for her and she escaped the pack and gave the scoreboard operator a chance to chalk up another one for the Cookies.

But it cost them. Krissy Krash was the next to be ejected from the island. With 26 seconds left on the clock, and a score of 51-48 in the Sirens' favor, V. Lee for the Sirens and Gori Spelling for the Cookies squared off for the final jam and flew off the line.

V. Lee took Gori out early and it looked like V. Lee was going to make it out of the pack, with Spelling trailing well behind, but V. Lee took a tumble and hit the track face down before breaking. Confusion in the pack allowed Spelling to slip through while the Sirens were in disarray.

Well behind the pack, V. Lee hung back, knowing she wouldn't score or call off the jam and hoping to intercept Gori Spelling before she could close the three-point gap. Gori got caught in the "no play" zone as she tried for the score, with the Cookies defense unable to help her since she was well behind the pack. The Cookies slowed the pack down, trying to get Spelling into play, while the Sirens responded by walling up in front of the pack to run the clock out -- but they went too far out front and then became out of play as Spelling finally got past her slowing Cookies. With the game winning points ahead of her, Spelling started to approach the Sirens --  but the clock ran out.

A hush fell over the venue as the officials closed ranks to discuss the conclusion. Would Spelling be awarded the ghost points for the out-of-play Sirens? As the conference broke up, the jam ref moved in unison to display the scores to a rapt crowd -- 0 points for the Sirens, and a game-winning 5 points for the Tough Cookies that made the audience explode and brought the Cookies '08 unlikely campaign to a thrilling and dramatic championship conclusion. Final score: Tough Cookies 53, Sirens 51.

Statistics

Some surprises in the stats. V. Lee had the highest points total as a jammer with 23 points. But she had the second highest points-scored / number-of-jams, a ratio of 2.3 points per jam. The highest p/n ratio goes to Krissy Krash, with a ratio of 3.33 points per jam. She also skated the highest number of jams: 23: 20 as a blocker, 3 as a jammer.

There are statistical methods for determing a player's overall effectiveness if they're in enough jams. Scoring prowess when a skater is in the jam as a defensive player, a team's lack of scoring when she's not playing, how much the other team scores when she's playing, and how much they score when she's not playing can all be used to calculate overall effectiveness. For any skater playing defense in more than 5 jams, Iron Maiven ranked clearly higher than anyone else in the game.

Her closest competition would be Paris Kilton on the Sirens. Kilton flies below the radar, but she's certainly one of the leagues' most effective defense players. Other defense skaters of note: Retiring blockers Axles of Evil and Lucy Ballbreaker also had high team points earned / opposing team score ratios while also more valuable on the track than off. Then again, in a game with such polished defense, quantifying performance doesn't really take teamwork into account.

Laura Palmer led the scoring for the Cookies with 13 points on 10 jams; Gori Spelling put up 12 on 8 jams; Krissy Krash had 10 points on 3 jams, Iron Maiven was responsible for 10 points on 6 jams, and Laguna Beyatch had 8 points on 9 jams.

The Sirens ran four jammers all night: V. Lee (23 points, 10 jams), Mila Minute (21 points, 11 jams), Kung Pow Tina (4 points, 7 jams) and Roxy Cotton (3 points, 4 jams.)

Tough Cookies: Iron Maiven 40 - Captain // Gori Spellng 90210 - Co-Captain // Krissy Krash 360 // Titty Titty Bang Bang AK-47 // Kelly Kaboom 7 // Lucy Ballbreaker 9 // Axles of Evil 58 // Legacy 41 // Kammi Kazi 1945 // Skatum o'Neal 1963 // Laura Palm-her 303 // Sniperella 0.31 // Venus D. Maul'r 193 // Laguna Beyatch OC // Suzy Snakeyes 30:1

Sirens: Puncherello 911 -Captain // Amber Alert 44.1 - Co-Captain // Mila Minute 60 sec // Kung Pow Tina 7&7 // Roxy Cotton 160 mg // V. Lee 981 // Paris Kilton 81 // PITA 24/7 // Ryder Hard # // Haught Wheels 0 // Cannon Doll X XXX // Aggro Vader 22 // Killo Kitty 187 // Jacq Pot 4aces // Stefcon 1 w00t // Mila Minute 60 sec // Kung Pow Tina 7&7

Photos: Stalkerazzi