BOSTON, MA -- In the first of two recently added summer Boston Massacre bouts, the pantsless militia hosted the Ohio Roller Girls at Shriners Auditorium on Saturday, July 19. After a season of strong showings against lower-ranked teams, the Massacre were hoping to extend that streak, but were nevertheless prepared for a fight from the underdog visitors.

Unfortunately the bout was a nonstarter for Ohio, as the Massacre skated to an unprecedented 183-5 victory, shutting out the visitors in all but two jams and not allowing a single point in the second half. Ohio's five points came in as the lowest score in WFTDA history. OHRG’s skaters all had stand-out moments, but the teamwork never quite gelled. Meanwhile, the Massacre becomes a tighter unit with every bout, and their well-timed replacement blocking is beginning to look like on-track telepathy.

The first four jams introduced each teams’ primary jammer roster, and set the stage for the rest of the bout:

Jam one started with the Massacre’s KrushPuppy taking the line against OHRG’s versatile Barracuda. KPup has the speed and agility to turn in a handful of grand slams each bout, but she often falls prey to the jitters of jam 1 and ends up the first Massacre skater warming the penalty box after cutting the track. Perhaps her two MVP trophies and recent Wicked Pissah Rookie of the Year award have helped her shake those nerves—this time out she opened with a double grand slam while her teammates kept Barracuda stuck in the pack for the full two minutes.

Next up was co-captain Claire D. Way against OHRG’s Drrty Grrl, who got the jump off the line and blasted into the pack with impressive speed, but Claire took lead jammer call with a little help from teammate Shellby Shattered at the front of an unusually slow pack. Again it was a grand slam for Boston as Claire pushed it out for the full two minutes.

Moving deeper into both team’s jammer rosters, Maura Buse and Foxy Force, OHRG's Best Jammer of 2007, went head to head in jam 3. Waiting for the double whistle, Massacre fans took note of Foxy’s loooong legs, and wondered how “Short Bus” Buse was going to fare. But Buse’s footwork won in the end, as Foxy looked to have the stride, but not the speed, to power through this pack. The crowd's first collective gasp happened as Ohio’s Barracuda lined up for what would have been a powerhouse takeout of Buse at turn 4. But Buse managed to jump out of the way in time, leaving Barracuda in the unfortunate position of whiffing at high speed directly into the Massacre bench. Foxy put her team on the board, squeaking out just one point--but it was a start.

Drrty Grrl once again took the line in jam 4, this time against Sugar Hits, who distinguished herself as a jammer to watch during the Massacre’s defeat of Houston three weeks earlier at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza. Shaking off hits like her legs are spring-loaded, she wobbled after some contact from the hard-hitting Chewblocka, but stayed strong and pulled out the lead while Drrty Grrl was bumped to the back of the pack in a chain reaction led by Lois Carmen Dominator.  LCD, already known for her on-point track awareness as a pivot, has been on fire as a booty blocker since ECDX. As Mr. Hits often noted in his announcing debut, a team's defense is only as good as their last blocker, and LCD is more than capable of holding a jammer while her teammates regroup and re-engage.

With the grand slams racking up, Ohio started to amp up the contact, and both Chewblocka and Phoenix Bunz laid some heavy hits in the pack. Bunz displaced Pussy Venom a good two feet to the outside while rounding turn 4, triggering a series of spills that took Sugar Hits down and out at high speed. In the middle of a backwards somersault, she wisely called off the jam.

Only four jams in, the Masscare had racked up 24 points while holding OHRG to Foxy's lone point. With Ohio jammers stuck in the pack behind Massacre pivots, their offensive blockers scrambled to assist, knowing that they had to start getting lead jammer if they wanted to make up the score differential. Unfortunately the focus on offensive blocking left a spread out pack that enabled the Massacre’s agile jammers to pick off points like connecting the dots.

As jam 5 came to a close scoreboard read 34-1, but anyone who has seen roller derby knows that ten minutes in to the first period is too soon to put any predictions in stone. When Drrty Grrl picked up lead in jam 7—the first time for Ohio in this game—while Sugar Hits was sent to the box for back blocking, it looked like OHRG might have a chance to stop the bleeding. But DG's 4 points in the jam represented the last time Ohio would get on the board.

The packs picked up speed and the penalty box started filling up as skaters collected their 4th minors. Ohio would need a full pack if they wanted to make up the differential and unfortunately the highlights of period 1 never developed into a stronger period 2, as the Massacre held the visitors scoreless for the full half hour. Ohio’s track awareness looked solid, but Massacre jammers’ speed allowed them to outmaneuver check blocks, and jammers like Maura Buse and Sugar Hits—who seem able to move laterally while in midair—used footwork to trump Ohio’s attempts at booty blocking.

The visitors had the right ideas, but couldn't execute under pressure. Score trackers consistently signaled to the scoreboard operators: zero, ten; zero, ten; zero, ten. The bout ended in much the way that it began, with stuck Ohio jammers being lapped by the Massacre. When all was said and done, the Massacre had won 183-5.

Major kudos are due to Ohio for unwavering tenacity and for playing an extremely clean game despite a frustrating score. Not until the bitter end did the stress start to show as blockers’ hits often followed through with minor hand, forearm, and elbow contact—all illegal moves, but as any skater will tell you, easy penalties to accrue when exhaustion starts to hit you full force. The cutting-the-track penalties that stymied some teams at ECDX weren’t a major issue for either the Massacre or OHRG. It’s another easy mistake to make as a jammer stuck in the pack, and although both teams saw their jammer in the box for it a couple of times, it didn’t have a major effect on game play. OHRG’s Chewblocka, in particular, took a hard hit as a jammer that sent her across the infield between turns 2 and 3. Despite the momentum, she slowed, regained her composure, and re-entered the pack at exactly the right spot to avoid the referee’s wrath—all the marks of a focused and track-aware skater.

MVPs as chosen by their opponents were team captain Barracuda for OHRG, for all around solid play as a blocker and jammer. Triple Deck-Her took the trophy for Boston, scoring 32 points in 8 turns at the jammer line, including 5 grand slams, while drawing only 5 minor penalties the entire game.

The Massacre's next game is on August 9 at Shriners, where they'll host the Dallas Derby Devils. Ohio takes on Fort Wayne in an away bout on September 20.

Photos: Amy West