CHICAGO, IL -- On Saturday night, the number six-ranked Tucson Saddletramps rode into town to take on the number seven-ranked Windy City Rollers, but the similar rankings did not translate into a similar score. Windy City jumped out to a 32-0 lead to open the bout and was never in trouble on their way to a dominating 138-19 victory.

The decisive edge in this game was the stellar performance of the Chicago defense. Megan Formor (the Richard Dent of the team) repeatedly trailed the pack as a first (and, frequently, only necessary) line of defense.  The rare Saddletramp jammer to make it past her would have Malice With Chains (the Mike Singletary of our analogy) to tangle with, who exceeds a handful by several levels of magnitude.  

In the event the opposing jammer made it through that particular meat grinder without being spun off the oval, they'd have to tussle with the hard-hitting pivots, Belle Diablo and Blossom Bruiso (um .. Dan Hampton and, I don’t know, Otis Wilson or something; my analogy is breaking down here). Of course, by that time, Chicago’s jammer was already scooping up points. By halftime, Windy City had opened up a 60 to 9 lead.  

Visiting teams quickly point out the slickness of the linoleum surface of the Cicero Stadium. It's possible the slower, more deliberate game play favored the brawny Chicago style and militated against the speed-and-finesse type of game, but WCR’s consistent success in marooning Tucson’s jammers in the backfield pretty much is the story of the bout -- Tucson was able to nab lead jam only eight times.  On three occasions, in power jam situations, Tucson failed to score and the Chicago jammer managed to fly out of the penalty box and pick up lead jam.

Apart from issues of home rink advantage, another crucial aspect of the game was the bench. Deadlock Doe, the sturdy anchor of Tucson’s team, seemed to be on the track the whole game.  Other finalists in the iron man contest include Sloppy Flo, Peaches Rodriguez, Sami Automatic and Whiskey Mick. The muggy Cicero air doubtlessly took a dreadful toll on these workhorses, while Chicago’s blocker rotations seemed to better use the energy reserves depleted by the heat.

As for Chicago’s jammers, Varla Vendetta and Athena DeCrime both exhibited the blasting speed they’re known for at home, while Eva Dead and Shocka Conduit managed to rack up a few jams with more than one scoring pass to boast. 

The second half would be even more of a blowout than the first, as the home team outscored the visitors 78 to 10. Toward the end, when WCR finally felt comfortable with a rankings-affecting point spread and began to sub in wild cards like Ying O’Fire and Donna Party, the contest was well over.

Eventually, as it always does, the clock finished ticking.  Then, the dust settled, the vultures and jackals picked the carcasses clean and we could clearly survey the damage.  Final Score:  Windy City Rollers 138 – Tucson Saddletramps 19.   

By the time #1-ranked Kansas City makes it to Cicero on September 20, they hope to have skate court in place, thereby silencing the skeptics. But first, WCR hosts Minnesota on August 16 before heading to the mountains to sample what up-and-coming Rocky Mountain has to offer on September 6th.

Tucson gets a month and a half to regroup, but their next test is a very serious one -- they'll be hosting the imposing Gotham Girls on August 30.