WFTDA Bout Recap: (14) Rocky Mountain 137, (15) Providence 9

DENVER, CO -- May 3rd brought Providence Roller Derby’s 15th-ranked Rhode Island Riveters to Denver to bout the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls’ 5280 Fight Club, ranked 14th in the nation. Both teams recently walked away from close defeats – Fight Club lost to 13th-ranked Charm City in March while the Riveters suffered a narrow upset to the unranked Maine Roller Derby less than a month ago. Regardless of past bouts, it was generally assumed that this would be an extremely close match due to these two teams’ spots next to one another within the rankings.

Things started off with RMRG’s She Who Cannot Be Named up against PRD’s Hysterica! on the jammer line. She Who grabbed lead as well as four points, calling it off before Hysterica! could make it to the pack. Next up, RMRG’s Frida Beater faced off against PRD’s Cleo Patronize, adding nine points for a total of 13 while PRD was still stuck at zero. RMRG continued to rack up the points and keep PRD at zero until the tenth jam of the game, when Hysterica! managed to score four points as well as gain lead jammer, though by this point RMRG was already at 39 points. Hysterica!’s points were the only ones to be put up on the scoreboard throughout the first period for PRD, with halftime putting RMRG at 67, PRD 4.

While the Riveters had no shortage of hard hitters such as Bunnicula and Burnin’ Helen, they seemed to be suffering in the jammer department – Hysterica! would be the only point scorer of the game as well as the only jammer to successfully gain lead with the exception of one jam by Cleo Patronize. Fight Club’s defense was outstanding, however, with pivot Winona Fighter controlling the front throughout the majority of the game while blockers Madam Maimya, Ida Hustler, Pinky 500 and Assaultin’ Pepa built unbreakable walls and consistently kept the PRD jammers from ever leaving the pack. The final score found RMRG at 137, PRD 9.

The top scorers for RMRG were Frida Beater with 60 points and She Who with 58. Frida grabbed lead jammer 70% of the time while She Who earned it 69%. Luscious Smacksome and Smashbox earned nine points each, while Ida Hustler scored one.

PRD’s only point scorer for the night was Hysterica! who earned 9 points and gained lead jammer 33% of her time on the track.

Rocky Mountain doesn't waste much time before their next challenge, heading down to Phoenix to take on Arizona Roller Derby this Saturday, May 10th. Providence's next action will be their local season opener, as the Old Money Honeys take on the Mob Squad on May 30 -- but they're next in all-star action at Philly's East Coast Extravaganza on June 21 and 22, taking on 22nd-ranked Atlanta on Saturday and 13th-ranked Charm City on Sunday.

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Holy kiszka! Providence

Holy kiszka! Providence loses Dolly Rocket and look what happens to them!

Ai-yeeeee!

-- Rusty Wheeler

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