FEASTERVILLE, PA -- Enough of the naysaying: there's a new Hooker in town. This is a team that once had no choice but to relish its lovable-loser status at the bottom of Philadelphia's intraleague standings. For the greater portion of PRG's first two seasons, the Heavy Metal Hookers could be counted upon to put on a good show and subsequently come up short on the scoreboard. The league-record losing streak came to a dramatic end on October 20th of last year, however, with an 88-85 nailbiter win over the Broad Street Butchers. A 99-44 loss to the Hostile City Honeys on November 10th caused some to wonder whether that win might have been a fluke, but the faithful knew that their team's star was on the rise.
Were souls sold to Satan? Could the addition of former motivational speaker The Cycrone! have anything to do with this change? Has the lead-by-example captaining of Robin Drugstores at last trickled down through the ranks? Do you think a few roster subtractions might actually have helped the team? Is it possible that the off-season acquisition of Teflon Donna could somehow be responsible?
Whatever the reason, the team has gone on to victory over some stiff competition in the months since that loss, taking down Charm City's Junkyard Dolls (91-88), the Carolina Rollergirls' Debutante Brawlers (77-65) and the Coal City Rollers of Wilkes-Barre, PA (128-56). But although these wins surely buoyed the confidence of the team, all this interleague action is meaningless to PRG's 2008 home season. What would happen when the team was pitted against that same team of Butchers who gave the Hookers their first taste of victory?
What indeed. The action resumed just where it left off back in October: fast packs, lots of hits, and no discernible edge on the score sheets. Felony Griffith got the action started for the Hookers, picking up four points at the expense of Butchers' star Persephone - a notable scratch on the Butchers' roster the last time the teams met due to maternity leave. Teflon Donna added two more to the Hookers' total in the second jam, doubling-up the score of her counterpart and former teammate Antidote, but the Butchers responded with consecutive 4-0 jams from Shenita Stretcher and Vixen Van Go-Go to bring their total to nine. Jam five put Persephone back on the line for a full two minute frame against Griffith, and again the scrappy Hooker made her veteran opponent pay once more by pocketing six points for herself while strong blocking from the Hookers' pack held Persephone to three. With the score tied at 12 going into the sixth jam, the teams proceeded to exchange shutout after shutout until they were even once again with 22 in the eleventh jam - and again with 33 in the sixteenth.
It was the seventeenth jam of the first period that effectively ended the Butchers' night. Shenita Stretcher was given the star and upon reaching the jammer line she learned, to her surprise, that she was sitting on three minors. Hoping to avoid a trip to the box with the star on her helmet, she raced to the front of the pack to exchange helmet covers with pivot Vixen Van Go-Go before the start of the jam. However, some miscommunication and confusion prevented Van Go-Go from reaching the jammer line in Shenita's place before the start of the jam. Vixen was ushered off the track, and Teflon Donna was all-but-guaranteed a full two minute unopposed jam.
With Hookers fans cheering wildly, Butchers fans cursing their rotten luck, and one of the best jammers in the sport strutting her stuff, the score could easily have swung decisively in the Hookers' direction; however, no such thing would be seen. After taking an all-but-meaningless Lead Jammer status on her first pass, Teflon received her fourth minor for Back-Blocking before she scored so much as a single point.
One jammer in the box and one riding the pine of the Butchers' bench, in accordance with the rules outlined in the pre-bout meeting, meant a new jam would start - and the Hookers would still skate unopposed. In what proved to be the last jam of the period, Felony Griffith racked up five points in one scoring pass before, to the Butchers' chagrin, she received her own fourth minor on the strength of a Cut Track call. Pursuant to the same rule, the Butchers would start out the second period jammerless once more. This time, with Teflon Donna back on the track, the Hookers kept away from the penalty box and instead padded their score to the tune of ten points.
At last, in the second jam of the second period, the Butchers were able to send Antidote to the jammer line. The teams had been tied at 33 before the string of jammerless jams, but the Butchers now found themselves staring at a fifteen point deficit that could easily have been avoided. These points were too few and the amount of time left on the clock was far to great to make this uphill battle insurmountable, but the jammerless sequence shifted the bout's momentum so far over to the Hookers' bench that the Butchers never managed to recapture it. The Butchers finished the period with just 13 points to the Hookers' 54, decreasing their output from the first period by nearly two thirds, while the Hookers' persisted in their winning ways and outperformed their first-period total by a margin of 16.
The Hookers will be tested again on May 3rd when they face off against the virtually-unstoppable Philthy Britches in what may prove to be a preview of the 2008 season's Warrior Cup Championship; the Butchers will take on the Carolina Rollergirls' Trauma Queens earlier in the same evening.
Stats:
Jammers for the Hookers were lead by Teflon Donna's 40 points (3.64 per jam in 11 jams spanning 819 seconds; +32 differential) and Felony Griffith's 20 (2.33 in 6 jams, 413 seconds; +17 differential). At the pivot position, EuroThrash held the opposition to 6 points in her 7 efforts (0.86 per jam, 509 seconds, +26 differential) and Wendy Whiplash allowed another 17 points while serving in 9 jams (1.89 against per jam, 594 seconds and a differential of 0). Whiplash also lead her team in blocks and Mandawar was credited with the most assists. Robin Drugstores (1338 seconds) logged the most track time, as well as the most penalties (14 minors).
Leading the way among Butchers jammers was Persephone with 12 points (1.71 per jam in 7 jams, 451 seconds, -12 differential) and Shenita Stretcher with 11 in 9 jams (1.22, 645 seconds, -7). Nina Knockout spent the most jams as pivot with 7, allowing 17 points in the process (2.34 per jam, 504 seconds, -2), while Butterscotch Cripple, Persephone and Shenita Stretcher each took 6 turns with the stripe on their helmets. Knockout and Persephone lead the team at blocking, while Persephone used the occasion to put on an assisting clinic. Shenita punched out for the evening with 1138 seconds of gameplay to her name, and Jane Fondle tied Robin Drugstores' mark of 14 minors.
