Philly Intraleague Season Opener: Philthy Britches 98, Broad Street Butchers 68
Posted by The Statisfier on March 24th, 2008
FEASTERVILLE, PA — Facing off in the second bout of the double-header on Saturday, 3/15, the Broad Street Butchers and their league rivals the Philthy Britches took to the track before a packed arena of derby fans. The crowd had already been treated to a home-team win in the opening bout, a 77-65 victory by the Heavy Metal Hookers over Carolina’s Debutante Brawlers, and it was howling for more. Little could satiate such a hunger better than the highly-anticipated grudge match, pitting the 2007 Warrior Cup champion Britches against the second-place Butchers.
In a deviation from their standard practice of assigning co-captain Mo Pain to start the bout as jammer, the Britches turned to second-year vet Gloria Grindem for their opening salvo. Grindem drew the unenviable task of facing off against Butchers’ star Persephone, who only recently returned from a maternity leave that caused her to miss the 2007 intraleague season. After the first pass through the pack, it was Persephone who was declared Lead Jammer (LJ). After taking 3 points in just over a minute, she called off the jam and denied Grindem so much as an opportunity to score.
Thus started a trend that the Britches would have to become accustomed to in the early stages of the bout: the next three jams saw the Butchers cruise to LJ every time and, in doing so, earn themselves a 10 to 0 lead by the end of the fourth jam. “We came out a little flat,” commented Mo Pain, “but their blockers surprised us a bit too.” However, the Britches answered back with a 27-0 run of their own to show the Butchers that the season champs weren’t going to be dethroned so easily.
In the next three sessions, the jammer rotation of Grindem, Mo Pain, Grindem took advantage of penalties to Butcher blockers Shenita Stretcher and Vixen Van Go Go and the two jammers combined for three LJ statuses while picking up 4 points to their opponents’ 0 each time. To follow up these efforts, Britches’ rookie jammer Racey Intent put up a monstrous performance in a shutout of Annie Christ. Though Racey was LJ, she seemed to be enjoying herself entirely too much to consider calling off the action, and the jam ran to its two-minute limit. With three grand slams, Racey had added 15 points to the Britches total.
The Butchers, perhaps requiring a shot of reality after their early success, launched a counter-attack of their own for the next four jams. Led by the aptly-named Antidote (7 points in two jams over that span) the team took LJ in each instance while shutting out the Britches and chipping away at what had been a 17-point advantage to bring the margin back to 2. Once again, however, this momentum was lost and the tides turned back into the Britches’ favor for the period’s closing sessions: with LJ in four of six jams, the team pulled ahead once again to end the period with a score of 43 to 32 for the Butchers.
It was back to basics again to start the second period, with Mo Pain on the jammer line trying to contain Persephone. This time it was Mo who took LJ, and used it to her advantage by earning 4 points and ending the jam before Persephone could post a single point. Persephone would answer back in the fourth jam, however: with Britches captain Violet Temper and blocker Dotti Horror looking on from the penalty box, she earned 5 points of her own in a grand slam against Gloria Grindem, and ended the jam in a lightning-fast 39 seconds.
The Butchers had scored 9 points to the Britches’ 6 to begin the second period, but then Racey Intent, anxious not to be confused for a one-jam-wonder, skated to a 9 point outing that overshadowed Tara Newone’s 4 point performance. This signfied the beginning of a Britches run that would widen the team’s lead substantially over the next four jams. Two attempts by Mo Pain and one each from Racey Intent and Violet Temper contributed 13 unanswered points to the Britches’ total before Mo Pain effectively put the win out of reach for the Butchers with a 10-0 spin in the eleventh jam. Shenita Stretcher, jamming for the Butchers, was sent to the box for a cut track infraction and could only watch as Mo picked up two grand slams. Shenita’s penalty carried over into the twelfth session, which allowed Racey Intent to bolster her team’s output further with another 4 points. At the end of the 19-jam period, the final score stood at 98 for the Britches and 68 for the Butchers.
Stats
Highest scoring jammers for the Butchers were Persephone with 25 points in 13 jams for 1.92 jam average, Antidote for 16 points in 8 jams for a 2.0 average, and Shenita Stretcher for 15 points in 10 jams averaging 1.5 points per jam. At the pivot position, Annie Christ led the way with 941 seconds and held the Britches to an average of 1.53 points against in her 15 attempts, with a +13 differential; Butterscotch Cripple allowed an average of 4.42 in 12 jams with a differential of -38. Antidote (2 majors, 9 minors), Jane Fondle (1 major, 13 minors), and Vixen Van Go Go (3 majors, 7 minors) were in the Sin Bin four times a piece each as the most penalized Butchers. Annie Christ led her team in blocking with 13, followed by her co-captain Butterscotch Cripple (9); former Butchers team captain Vixen Van Go Go and Nina Knockout tied for the third most blocks (7). Time on the track may have helped to add to the blocking totals as Butterscotch (21:31) and Annie (18:25) logged the most time in the game.
Over on the defending champs’ side, the highest scoring jammers were Racey Intent with 41 points in 11 jams and a 3.73 points per jam average, Mo Pain with 34 points in 10 jams for a 3.40 points per jam average, and Gloria Grindem with 12 points in 9 jams, averaging 1.33 points per jam. Among pivots, Ginger Vitis saw the most time with 816 seconds in 14 jams, allowing an average of 2.14 points in 14 jams for a differential of 13; Gloria Grindem averaged 1.75 against in 8 jams with a differential of 6. Dottie Horror (3 majors, 12 minors), Dara Licks (3 majors, 12 minors), and Ginger Vitis (3 majors, 5 minors) spent the most time in the Sin Bin, while Ginger lead her team in blocks with 19, followed by Dara, Violet Temper and Gloria Grindem, all credited with 9. Ginger (18:06), Gloria (17:13), and Violet (16:42) logged the most time on the track.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
My dad, little brother and step mom went to this game and it was the first time they’ve ever seen roller derby and they LOVVVVED IT! They couldn’t believe you can bring your dog to the venue and said they were going to attend every one they can make for the rest of the season. Instant fans! Way to go for putting on a great game and show for my parents!
March 27th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Hell yeah, thank The Sportsplex for allowing pets and thank your family for the support!