WFTDA Expo Recap: (i) Boston 116, (*5) Bronx Gridlock 49
Posted by Mr. Hits on March 21st, 2008
BOSTON, MA — With their regular season now finished and playoffs a month away, the Boston Derby Dames briefly broke from league play this past Saturday, March 8, to pit their skills against two rival Northeast leagues. The All-Star Boston Massacre split its squad for a derby doubleheader, hosting the Maine Port Authorities and the Bronx Gridlock in two inter-league exhibition bouts. A crowd of 1,426 braved heavy downpours and overzealous traffic cops on their way to Shriners Auditorium, and their perseverance was rewarded with a double dip of hard-hitting action. Looking lovely in their sleek new uniforms (which seamlessly combine the influences of the Revolutionary War, the Autobots, and cornflowers), the Massacre tallied back-to-back wins, outpacing the Port Authorities 81-31 and downing the Gridlock by a score of 116-49.
In the main event, the Massacre faced the powerhouse Bronx Gridlock, reigning champions of New York City’s Gotham Girls Roller Derby. Although the Gridlock is out of season, having won their championship back in November, their talent is undeniable and they boast a number of skaters who dominated the 2007 WFTDA Eastern Regionals with GGRD’s all-star team and eventually placed 5th in the nation in September. With this record, the Massacre knew they’d have their hands full.
As action opened, Massacre MVP Shellby Shattered immediately set the tone for the bout. Within 20 seconds of the first whistle, Shattered skated to the pack’s front and drilled Bronx super-blocker Beyonsláy. Shattered then proceeded to clean house during the jam, providing three key blocks to open the floor for jammer Claire D. Way and fuel a 5-1 opener. The Massacre kept the pressure on for the first five jams, extending their advantage in each on their way to a sizzling 21-1 start. Bronx MVP Luna Impact finally stopped the bleeding in jam 6 with an 8-0 effort that cut the lead to twelve, but the Gridlock couldn’t follow up this success and the Massacre bounced right back. Two more times before the period closed, Bronx caught short rushes with the potential to close the gap, but both times, the Massacre quickly answered to restore their twenty point cushion.
Heading in to the locker room, the score well-reflected the bout; the Massacre had clearly outplayed the Gridlock for the first thirty minutes. Massacre blockers dialed up the pace of the pack and controlled the rhythm of the bout. Working together as a fluid mass, the Massacre pack ebbed and flowed as necessary, refusing to allow easy passes for the gifted and speedy Bronx jammers, who were constantly slowed by solid Massacre contact. Only Luna Impact, who scored over half her team’s points, seemed able to navigate the labyrinth of Massacre blue. The Massacre also neutralized the Bronx’s Beyonsláy. Though Beyonsláy managed a few nice hits, Massacre skaters mostly dodged her setups and produced several high-speed whiffs that left her out of touch with the pack and unable to do any damage.
As the second half got underway, it was immediately clear that the Bronx had discussed tactics during the break and decided to change gears. Instead of ceding control of the pack to the Massacre, their blockers moved up front to clash with opposing skaters and run interference for their jammers. But these strategic adjustments, though well-founded, didn’t pay dividends. Right away, the Massacre began pulling away. Snatching lead jammer in 6 of the first 8 jams, Boston outscored the Bronx 27-5 to bring their lead to 42 points, capped by crowd favorite Triple Deck-Her ripping an 8-0 jam with her usual infectious passion. Likely feeling the effects of fatigue from being undermanned (they only brought ten skaters), the Bronx couldn’t execute cleanly, leading to costly penalties for their jammers and big scoring opportunities for the Massacre. As the game wound down, the fresher and faster Massacre continued to press the slowing Gridlock with their balanced attack, and closed with a 116-49 victory.
The entire Bronx Gridlock deserves plaudits for battling so fiercely with so few skaters, but extra kudos go to team captain Kandy Kakes, who skated in a mind-blowing 27 of 35 jams and never seemed to slow. She may be listed as five-foot-one, but Kakes played like a giant on this night. For the Massacre, the usual suspects performed well, but Shellby Shattered was on a completely different level. With all of the vicious hits that Shattered unleashes, her impact on a bout never goes unnoticed. But oftentimes, the subtle aspects of her play, like her uncanny track awareness, get lost in the mix. Against the Bronx, she showcased the full range of her talents, dropping countless Gridlock skaters, blocking opposing jammers with hardly a backward glance, and guiding her own jammers through hostile packs effortlessly. She earned her MVP trophy.
In the opener, the Massacre and Port Authorities met in a single period, 30-minute mini-bout. The visiting Maine team managed to hold a 14-11 lead after three jams, but that lead would also be their last. In jam 4, the Massacre’s Sugar Hits toed the line against Killer Quick for Maine and busted the first double-digit jam of her career. Taking advantage of Quick’s trip to the penalty box, Hits skated the full two minutes and executed three scoring passes with the well-timed help of blocker Lois Carmen Dominator, thrusting a 13-0 dagger deep in to Maine’s belly.
Hits’ jam propelled the Massacre to the lead and opened the door to an insane 36-0 run over six jams, anchored by super-clean and effective blocking performances from Cookie Push, Etta Maims, and Miss Mary Smack, who combined for a mere three penalties in the entire bout. With the score at 47-14 in the 10th jam, the Port Authorities tried to swing the momentum, with versatile MVP Patty O’Mean capitalizing on a Massacre penalty and breaking her team’s scoreless run, but Maine’s success was short-lived. The Massacre continued their impressive play through the final whistles and closed out a well-deserved 81-31 win.
With inter-league fun on hold for two months, Boston roller derby turns local for its next bout. It’s playoff time, and the Cosmonaughties and Nutcrackers renew their rivalry on April 12 in a rematch of this season’s closest bout. The Nutcrackers prevailed in round one, but the Cosmos are hot off a close fight with the Wicked Pissahs and seem primed to bust a Nut. The winners play the Pissahs in the Season Two Championship on June 14. The losers drown their sorrows at the Dirty Derby Prom on April 26. Don’t miss it.
Photography: colddayforpontooning